ADHDFamilies

I recently wrote that I had finally figured out the reason that I have been unable to keep up with the day-to-day task of writing here.  In actuality the problem had affected my productivity far more profoundly than just interfering with my writing habits, it had affected every aspect of my life.  It was not due to a lack of motivation, a lack of interest, or any desire to avoid delving into a subject that is very personal to me.  My failure was due to one very specific aspect of my life being out of kilter.  It was due to one small and seemingly insignificant change in my routine.

What was this horrendous issue, you ask?

That’s a good question, but a better question would be:

What was this horrendous issue, and what does it have to do with ADHD?

The answer is simple.  The problem was silence.

Silence, you say? Yes.  I recently upgraded my computer’s operating system, and because my music play lists got muddled, (Christmas music playing right after a raucous bout of heavy metal…  Shudder!) I had not been playing any music.

I know that for some people, including my sister, this sounds silly.  She has issues concentrating with any sound in the background at all, but for me no music equates to a completely addled state of mind.  It’s almost as though there is a part of my brain that starts trying to recreate the normal background sounds, the soundtrack of my life, if you will.  Eventually that part consumes the resources that the rest of my thought processes need to function.

Music allows me to focus on the task at hand.  Whether it is because a certain song or type of music seems to gel with my mood at the moment, or because it allows me to tune out the other projects that are all clamoring around my brain for attention.  Whatever the reason, without music of some type playing, I accomplish next to nothing and the things I do manage to get completed are done so through sheer force of will.

So why didn’t I just turn the music on?

That’s where the ADHD really comes in to play.  I simply kept forgetting to do it.  I knew that something was off, I just never thought to click the play button.  Instead I sat humming to myself, or listening to the T.V. in the other room, which invariably led to me leaning over the back of the sofa to catch the latest recipe that I would never make, or to see the reveal on some home improvement show I hadn’t watched from the beginning.  (In some cases it led to me watching Sponge Bob with my 1 year old…  I should have known something was wrong.)

Then of course there are all the shinies the internet has to offer.  I’d be in the middle of doing research for something I’d been trying to write for the past several days, only to find that I’d managed to find a pretty video somewhere, or that I was sitting on YouTube, and had been for over an hour.  Still nothing done, yet even more frustrated with myself than I had been an hour before.

It hit me this past Sunday.  I was still working through the stacks of printed materials that I want to write something about. (I print my ideas and place them next to the keyboard for easy access to my “Oh Wow!”pile.)  I found myself humming the last song I’d heard on my car stereo and realized that I didn’t like the tune at all.  As a matter of fact, If I never hear that particular song again, I’ll be happy.That’s when something finally fell into place for me.

I scared my wife half to death.  With the revelation came a quite verbal “Ah-Ha!”  After I’d finished cleaning up the drink I’d caused her to spill all over her desk, I looked proudly at her and told her I’d figured out the reason that I hadn’t been getting anything done and waited for her response.

She said she’d been wondering when I’d figure it out.

She really does know best, I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell me sooner.

If you’re stumbling with concentration, try a little music. For me right now that means a bit of Taproot, but that will undoubtedly move to something a lot more driving as I go through the day, then end up with some classical flamenco guitar this evening.

Give me music or give me death!