ADHDFamilies

Last week I shared my opinions on a post that author and life coach Ronit Baras made on her blog Family Matters.  Miss Baras and I agree on some points and disagree on others, this is quite normal when discussing ADHD or behavioral disorders in general and does not cause me any undue concern.  Several of my readers took the time to leave their opinions as well, which I appreciate and hopefully Miss Baras appreciates this as well.   She seems to.

Miss Baras has made another post following this topic, and while I don’t agree with everything stated in it, the part that I want to focus on is the title o the post and the premise, rather than any specifics on her beliefs on ADHD or its treatment.  The post bothers me because it falls into the common pattern of labeling discussions on the topic of ADHD and the rift in beliefs as a WAR. Her post, titled The War on ADHD, may very well be read by many.  In the process, the misconception that there should be or ever was, a war on ADHD will be propagated.  It is possible that more and more people may pick up this battle cry, eventually leading to more hostile, and definitively futile, discussions on the topic.

Why call this a war at all?

For the same reason many things are labeled as wars.  We have the War on Drugs, The War on Terror, The War on …  You name it, it’s Reagan Era rhetoric that is so culturally ingrained that we as a society use the phrase to label nearly any subject we feel passionately about.  At some point, if enough people disagree ona topic, it gets labeled a war, when it should be labeled by it’s proper name, a heated debate.

If there is, in fact, a war on ADHD, it is fought by the people who must live with the condition, not by those treating it.  To imply that anyone else should be fighting this war (short of parents and family members, who in a military sense are simply in logistics) is not gaining anyone anything at all. What we should be waging is a caucus or a diplomacy meeting, searching for ways to understand the position of the “other side” and to increase education on the matter across the board. ADHD cannot be fought and conquered by any single outside factor.  There is no way to win using the premise of a war, so why fight one?

The enemy here isn’t doctor, medication, treatment or in most cases the disorder itself. The real enemy of forward motion on the ADHD Front is misinformation, stigma and stereotyping based on the first two factors.  If we want to move forward, we need to bridge the gap between both sides.  We need to meet in the middle and start working together, rather than standing on our respective side of the “great wall” yelling patriotic slogans at each other and relying on the propaganda machines of our own side to feed us misinformation on the other.  It didn’t work for Germany during the Cold War, it’s not working for us now.

One of my favorite authors on the subject of ADHD is Dana Blankenhorn. Dana, like myself, is an adult with ADHD dealing with a child with ADHD. (In my case it’s more than one child, and my wife has ADHD as well.) Dana does use the term war, but never in describing ADHD or people’s thoughts about it.  Those of us with an intimate knowledge of this “disorder” have long since come to the conclusion that truce is the only answer.  Dana’s articles make you think, and that is where the war, if any, needs to be waged.  Some of my favorites articles from dana include The Robin Williams in my head, What Works and The Wheel. While these are my personal favorites, each of Dana’s articles on the topic are insightful, inspiring and well worth taking the time to read.

Not once will you hear Mr. Blankenhorn referring to the ongoing battle with school authorites as a war.  He’s fighting yes, but he’s fighting against a school system that, like many, remove respect from a kid when they label him ADHD. Dana’s not at war with the school system, he’s at war with ignorance, preconception and perceptions.  I’ll stand with him in that battle, but I refuse to fight a war over the disorder itself.  If we’re fighting, we’re not learning.  If we’re fighting, we’re trying ti WIN.

But there’s nothing to win.  In the end, we’re just leveling the civilians, and aren’t they the one’s we’re trying to help?