ADHDFamilies

Last week I shared my opinions on a post that author and life coach Ronit Baras made on her blog Family Matters.  Miss Baras and I agree on some points and disagree on others, this is quite normal when discussing ADHD or behavioral disorders in general and does not cause me any undue concern.  Several of my readers took the time to leave their opinions as well, which I appreciate and hopefully Miss Baras appreciates this as well.   She seems to.

Miss Baras has made another post following this topic, and while I don’t agree with everything stated in it, the part that I want to focus on is the title o the post and the premise, rather than any specifics on her beliefs on ADHD or its treatment.  The post bothers me because it falls into the common pattern of labeling discussions on the topic of ADHD and the rift in beliefs as a WAR. Her post, titled The War on ADHD, may very well be read by many.  In the process, the misconception that there should be or ever was, a war on ADHD will be propagated.  It is possible that more and more people may pick up this battle cry, eventually leading to more hostile, and definitively futile, discussions on the topic.

Why call this a war at all?

For the same reason many things are labeled as wars.  We have the War on Drugs, The War on Terror, The War on …  You name it, it’s Reagan Era rhetoric that is so culturally ingrained that we as a society use the phrase to label nearly any subject we feel passionately about.  At some point, if enough people disagree ona topic, it gets labeled a war, when it should be labeled by it’s proper name, a heated debate.

If there is, in fact, a war on ADHD, it is fought by the people who must live with the condition, not by those treating it.  To imply that anyone else should be fighting this war (short of parents and family members, who in a military sense are simply in logistics) is not gaining anyone anything at all. What we should be waging is a caucus or a diplomacy meeting, searching for ways to understand the position of the “other side” and to increase education on the matter across the board. ADHD cannot be fought and conquered by any single outside factor.  There is no way to win using the premise of a war, so why fight one?

The enemy here isn’t doctor, medication, treatment or in most cases the disorder itself. The real enemy of forward motion on the ADHD Front is misinformation, stigma and stereotyping based on the first two factors.  If we want to move forward, we need to bridge the gap between both sides.  We need to meet in the middle and start working together, rather than standing on our respective side of the “great wall” yelling patriotic slogans at each other and relying on the propaganda machines of our own side to feed us misinformation on the other.  It didn’t work for Germany during the Cold War, it’s not working for us now.

One of my favorite authors on the subject of ADHD is Dana Blankenhorn. Dana, like myself, is an adult with ADHD dealing with a child with ADHD. (In my case it’s more than one child, and my wife has ADHD as well.) Dana does use the term war, but never in describing ADHD or people’s thoughts about it.  Those of us with an intimate knowledge of this “disorder” have long since come to the conclusion that truce is the only answer.  Dana’s articles make you think, and that is where the war, if any, needs to be waged.  Some of my favorites articles from dana include The Robin Williams in my head, What Works and The Wheel. While these are my personal favorites, each of Dana’s articles on the topic are insightful, inspiring and well worth taking the time to read.

Not once will you hear Mr. Blankenhorn referring to the ongoing battle with school authorites as a war.  He’s fighting yes, but he’s fighting against a school system that, like many, remove respect from a kid when they label him ADHD. Dana’s not at war with the school system, he’s at war with ignorance, preconception and perceptions.  I’ll stand with him in that battle, but I refuse to fight a war over the disorder itself.  If we’re fighting, we’re not learning.  If we’re fighting, we’re trying ti WIN.

But there’s nothing to win.  In the end, we’re just leveling the civilians, and aren’t they the one’s we’re trying to help?

I recently wrote that I had finally figured out the reason that I have been unable to keep up with the day-to-day task of writing here.  In actuality the problem had affected my productivity far more profoundly than just interfering with my writing habits, it had affected every aspect of my life.  It was not due to a lack of motivation, a lack of interest, or any desire to avoid delving into a subject that is very personal to me.  My failure was due to one very specific aspect of my life being out of kilter.  It was due to one small and seemingly insignificant change in my routine.

What was this horrendous issue, you ask?

That’s a good question, but a better question would be:

What was this horrendous issue, and what does it have to do with ADHD?

The answer is simple.  The problem was silence.

Silence, you say? Yes.  I recently upgraded my computer’s operating system, and because my music play lists got muddled, (Christmas music playing right after a raucous bout of heavy metal…  Shudder!) I had not been playing any music.

I know that for some people, including my sister, this sounds silly.  She has issues concentrating with any sound in the background at all, but for me no music equates to a completely addled state of mind.  It’s almost as though there is a part of my brain that starts trying to recreate the normal background sounds, the soundtrack of my life, if you will.  Eventually that part consumes the resources that the rest of my thought processes need to function.

Music allows me to focus on the task at hand.  Whether it is because a certain song or type of music seems to gel with my mood at the moment, or because it allows me to tune out the other projects that are all clamoring around my brain for attention.  Whatever the reason, without music of some type playing, I accomplish next to nothing and the things I do manage to get completed are done so through sheer force of will.

So why didn’t I just turn the music on?

That’s where the ADHD really comes in to play.  I simply kept forgetting to do it.  I knew that something was off, I just never thought to click the play button.  Instead I sat humming to myself, or listening to the T.V. in the other room, which invariably led to me leaning over the back of the sofa to catch the latest recipe that I would never make, or to see the reveal on some home improvement show I hadn’t watched from the beginning.  (In some cases it led to me watching Sponge Bob with my 1 year old…  I should have known something was wrong.)

Then of course there are all the shinies the internet has to offer.  I’d be in the middle of doing research for something I’d been trying to write for the past several days, only to find that I’d managed to find a pretty video somewhere, or that I was sitting on YouTube, and had been for over an hour.  Still nothing done, yet even more frustrated with myself than I had been an hour before.

It hit me this past Sunday.  I was still working through the stacks of printed materials that I want to write something about. (I print my ideas and place them next to the keyboard for easy access to my “Oh Wow!”pile.)  I found myself humming the last song I’d heard on my car stereo and realized that I didn’t like the tune at all.  As a matter of fact, If I never hear that particular song again, I’ll be happy.That’s when something finally fell into place for me.

I scared my wife half to death.  With the revelation came a quite verbal “Ah-Ha!”  After I’d finished cleaning up the drink I’d caused her to spill all over her desk, I looked proudly at her and told her I’d figured out the reason that I hadn’t been getting anything done and waited for her response.

She said she’d been wondering when I’d figure it out.

She really does know best, I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell me sooner.

If you’re stumbling with concentration, try a little music. For me right now that means a bit of Taproot, but that will undoubtedly move to something a lot more driving as I go through the day, then end up with some classical flamenco guitar this evening.

Give me music or give me death!

It’s a fact of life that many kids with ADHD end up in specialized schools, private schools or even continuation schools.  If that is the case in your life then you know that raising tuition or even raising funds for extracurricular activities can be a challenge for both the school and the parents, but ultimately these funding issues ultimately impact the children attending the school.

If you have been looking for methods to raise money for private schools, public school activities or other educational institutions, then Schoolpop’s programs may be right for you.  Their non-traditional fundraiser programs are really quite interesting.  They are based on shopping with Schoolpop’s online merchant partners, which include chocolatiers, jewelry and fragrance retailers and travel sites, just to name a few.  Each purchase made benefits your school or institution.  In my opinion this is a heckuva lot better than sending my kids door-to-door with chocolate bars!

Schoolpop has a sister site for churches and other church-run organizations, so if your need is in that bent, pop over as well. This may very well be the best idea in school fund raising I have ever seen, especially in today’s world of online shopping.  See if Schoolpop meets the needs of your school.

Ronit Baras is a life coach and author of the book “Be Special, be Yourself for Teenagers“.  She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Education, and she gives every indication of believing that most kids with ADHD not only do not have a disorder at all, but that their disruptive behavior can be treated simply by letting these children “move around more”.

I not only completely disagree with Miss Baras on the previous point, but I take contention with several other statements she makes in her blog entry titled “ADHD Must Be Contagious“.  Allow me to point out my specific objections.

…the definition of ADHD is so broad that almost every person in the world can be described as having attention deficit disorder at a curtain stage in life.

The same can be said of depression or anxiety, yet there does not seem to be a major run on drug companies for anti-anxiety medications. (At least not currently, they were prescribed widely in the early to middle 20th century, mostly to housewives.)

ADHD is a business. There is a lot of money in ADHD for the pharmaceutical companies, so they have a great interest in promoting it.

This is a valid point, but the fact remains that pharmaceutical companies are not responsible for prescribing these medications.  That is the doctor’s bailiwick and if a problem exists, it lies with physicians and psychiatrists, not manufacturers.

… If a kid can concentrate one hour while doing something they love, but only 30 seconds doing something they hate, they do not have a concentration problem.

This is complete chaff.  My stepson has severe ADHD and his brothers have mild to sever cases.  Each of them can concentration any topic that stimulates mental activity for indefinite amounts of time. Regardless of whether that topic is a video game or math homework.  Boredom and confusion are the enemy of concentration in an ADHD child, not lack of intelligence or willingness to learn, apply ones self or excel.

Miss Baras also points fingers at parents, stating that they would rather have a scapegoat “disorder” to label their children with than to actually accept responsibility for behavioral issues.  While this may be true in some cases, i cannot believe that most parents don’t still manage to feel guilt and responsibility regardless.  I know I did.  I was the one that passed ADHD along to my kids, and that it is now my responsibility to teach them the skills necessary to cope with it.

I will refrain from stating any more of my own opinions on this particular article.  I’ll leave it to you, the reader to make up your mind on the subject.

Portions of this article cited from:

Baras, B. (2008, 02, 08). ADHD Must Be Contagious. Retrieved February 11, 2008, from Be Special, Be Yourself Web site: http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/adhd-must-be-contagious/

I had to go and mention that I had methods to combat the shineys, didn’t I. In the global scheme of things that must be akin to saying those famous last words:

At least it can’t get any worse!

And then of course, it does.

The day following my last post on the subject, the shineys arrived. Apparently they read this blog as well and for the next three days I struggled to do even the simplest of tasks. I had no concentration, no focus and no direction. I adhere to a strict daily routine to avoid just such problems, but in this case it served to no avail. Any little distraction was enough to send me off chasing yet another shiny thing, which inevitably turned into a chase for another. And another… And another…

When the shineys attack they do it en masse, and it’s an organized assault. Their tactics are misdirection and confusion, with a little bit of “don’t you look stupid” thrown in for good measure.  They also have me outnumbered.  there must be a thousand things I need to…

Make that a thousand and four. *sigh*

Normally I don’t let it get to me.  but there are just those days when I’m so busy trying to do everything that nothing at all gets done.  And once it starts, I have no idea how to stop it.  My mind reels from one subject to another.  I find that I’m moving between projects at breakneck speeds, only doing a little here and a little there.  On the best of these days, I get a little of everything done.  On the worst, I’ve made a bigger mess for myself than when I started, with five or ten new projects begun, some of which may never get completed.

Such is a shiny day.  I’m just hoping that today isn’t one of them.