ADHDFamilies

It’s not often that I find a post on this subject that I approve of. Generally when asked about chores or household duties and kids with ADHD too many people feel that the child should be allowed a lot of slack in the process… If they have the child doing anything at all.

I call BULLSH*T! And so does the Mean Mom in her blog post titled “Chores for 13-year-old ADHD Son“.

The fact of the matter is, a 13-year-old child with ADHD should be able to handle almost any or all of the same chores a13-year-old child without ADHD can handle. Something a lot of people often seem to forget is that if you want your child to have any ind of success in his or her life, you need to provide structure. Structure lends a sense of calm, which helps ease distractions. Chores can provide this kind of structure. So can homework, school activities and social functions such as church or regular YMCA trips, among other things.

I think my mother knew this instinctively. My routine as a child on a school day was unforgiving. Up, fed, dressed and off to school. When I got home I was allowed 1 hour to “decompress” from the day doing anything I pleased, then it was homework, my bedroom got cleaned, dinner was served and we helped with the dishes and any household chores were done. After that our time was our own until lights out. This schedule was unwavering, and even though I fought against it for a very long time, I finally just accepted that this was the way things were and dropped into routine. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was comforting for me to know exactly what was going to happen next.

I have carried this need for structure into my adult life. Even to this day I cannot allow myself to deviate from routine or I simple “shiny out” and fail to accomplish the things that I know have to be done during the day. As an adult I thank my mother for the discipline she instilled in me as a child, and your children will one day as well.

Take it from me, they will.

There was quite a bit of discussion following the post titled Life coach wonders if ADHD is contagious, both from readers and from the original author of that post.  This is to be expected when the issues being discussed are as controversial as the topics covered here.  There are two very distinct and equally passionate schools of thought on the subject of ADHD. (Bipolar disorder is more cut-and-dried, if you will, as the symptoms are pretty globally recognized.) While I encourage discussion, I feel that tempers may have flared in this instance and I would like to focus on what could be an issue for visitors to tis blog over time.

Please do feel free to comment, whether you agree or disagree with what I have stated, or with what another commenter has posted in reply.  It is through these types of discussion that understanding is garnered and consensus is reached. Without discussions of this type misinformation simply spreads like wildfire through its respective camps, leaving all of us less informed in the process and polarizing the different sides of this issue to an even greater degree.

What should be avoided however, is attacking anyone on a personal level.  This has not happened at ADHDFamilies yet, but the potential is real and the situation needs to be avoided at all costs. I am aware that readers on both sides of the issue are passionate and that that passion can sometimes lead to emotional responses, but please, PLEASE always treat those people who were kind enough to take time out of their day in defense of their position with an attempt at respect and civility.  We’re not going to gain anything through an all out flame war.  If anything it simply serves to undermine the credibility of this blog, which is not in the best interest of the subject that it serves.

As I said, I don’t feel that anyone has gone “over the top” at this point.  I just saw the warning signs and felt I needed to clear this point up as early in the day as possible.

Keep those comments coming!

I’m a firm believer in the concept of laughing at what other people call my “shortcomings”. as an adult with ADHD, completing what most “normal” people call simple tasks can be nearly overwhelming for me. Why? Because I simply forget to get them done. Something else comes along and “whoosh!”, I’m off on that tangent.

I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Douglas Cooty writes The Splintered Mind, a blog on “Overcoming ADHD & Depression With Lots Of Humor and Attitude”. If the title of the blog wasn’t enough to get you interested, her’s a short blurb from his pot on Dec 27:

People with AD/HD make so many mistakes they tend to have self-esteem that droops and drags. The trick to my sparkling self-image is that I learned to laugh at myself years ago. I make so many mistakes I keep myself in stitches all day.

It’s something that I do as well. I’ve even been known to shout “Oooooh! Shiny!” in a crowded room. You’d be amazed how many people get it…

Have a great day, and remember to laugh at yourself, just a little.

In a previous post, I wrote about Susan Senator and her issues with the New York University’s Ad campaign on Mental Illness.  This advertising campaign was designed to look like “ransom notes” from the illnesses themselves, but Susan and many other parents (myself included) found them to be rather tactless and downright disturbing.

I’m pleased to say that Susan dropped me a line to say that the campaign has been ended.  The NYU Child Study Center offered this in the way of an offhanded apology for the campaign:

When we launched our “Ransom Notes” public awareness campaign two weeks ago, our goal was to call attention to the millions of children with untreated psychiatric and learning disorders. We wanted a campaign that would grab people’s attention, break through the clutter, and serve as a wake up call to what we believe is America’s last silent public health crisis. We felt something dramatic was needed to call attention to the dire outlook for children with untreated disorders: higher risk for academic failure, school dropout, substance abuse, suicide, unemployment, and imprisonment.

The campaign succeeded in getting people’s attention and sparking dialogue, but much of the debate centered on the ads instead of the issues. We’ve received thousands of calls and letters from parents, mental health professionals, educators, advocates, and concerned third parties, all of whom are passionate about helping children. While many people praised the campaign and urged us to stay the course, others were troubled by it.

Though we meant well, we’ve come to realize that we unintentionally hurt and offended some people. We’ve read all the emails, both pro and con, listened to phone calls, and have spoken with many parents who are working day and night to get their children the help they need. We have decided to conclude this phase of our campaign today because the debate over the ads is taking away from the pressing day-to-day work we need to do to help children and their families. They are and remain our first concern.

Our goal was to start a national dialogue. Now that we have the public’s attention, we need your help. We would like to move forward and harness the energy that this campaign has generated to work together so that we do not lose one more day in the lives of these children. We hope you will partner with us to bring the issues surrounding child and adolescent mental health to the top of America’s agenda. Work with us as we fight to give children and their families equal access to health insurance, remove the stigma that the term “psychiatric disorder” so clearly still elicits, and, most importantly, support the drive to make research and science-based treatment a national priority.

We invite all of you to continue this conversation online at a “town hall” meeting that we will hold early next year as we plan the next phase of our national public awareness campaign on child mental health. Look for details on our web site www.AboutOurKids.org.

Sincerely,

Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D.
Founder and Director, New York University Child Study Center

(Pulled directly from their website.  Original document here)

My thought on the subject?  I’m glad there is an open dialog in New York.  Now can we get one in the rest of the country?  My stepson in California is being denied services he desperately needs due to budget cuts…  He needs help, as do thousands of other kids.  Where’s the dialog there?

Seems that I’m not the only person who has ever suffered a few difficulties in life due to adult ADHD. This Post on youraddnews.com discusses the symptoms and effects of ADHD on the adult. I found it very good reading, and I hope that you will too.